This was an inside joke...and now you're all in on it.

Big Day, Big Stories

A Quick Guide to the Most Compelling Story Lines in Advance of Saturday’s Trials

Today is your last chance to sign up to be a GM for one of our Quidditch teams. E-mail mackenzielbs@gmail.com and you’ll get to draft tomorrow.  

Adrian Pucey

Special reprinting rights to MacKenzie Low Budget Sports

 

This Saturday the greatest stars in the Quidditch heavens will fly against each other. It’s not happening among the dunes of Arabia (sorry Fiji you don’t count as the greatest stars), it’s all happening at Queerditch Marsh right here in Britain.

In case you had a memory charm put on you some time in the last few months, you may need a reminder of who’s who and what’s what worth noting as each player swoops, soars, and tries to attract the attention of each team’s decision makers.

 

1. Wither Ireland? Wither Loyalty?

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We may not approve of steroid use, but we definitely approve of destruction of “Sox Nation” property.

So Torn…so very torn

torontobluejays:

Melky destroyed a windshield tonight at Fenway.
We may not approve of steroid use, but we definitely approve of destruction of “Sox Nation” property.

So Torn…so very torn

torontobluejays:

Melky destroyed a windshield tonight at Fenway.
We may not approve of steroid use, but we definitely approve of destruction of “Sox Nation” property.

So Torn…so very torn

torontobluejays:

Melky destroyed a windshield tonight at Fenway.

We may not approve of steroid use, but we definitely approve of destruction of “Sox Nation” property.

So Torn…so very torn

torontobluejays:

Melky destroyed a windshield tonight at Fenway.

Second Thoughts

Reluctant Spaniard Swerves Back to Britain

Want to play fantasy sports with EXTRA fantasies? (like the teams, players and whole sport itself?) Then sign up to be a GM in our Quidditch league. E-mail mackenzielbs@gmail.com by Thursday July 31st and be ready to draft on Friday. 

Adrian Pucey

Daily Prophet

 

With mere days until try-outs at Queerditch Marsh, Spain’s top chaser, Chavelle Arbelo Cartaya, announced that he would, after all, join the Gringott’s Premier League this season.

 

“I feel that I need to prove my talents against those who doubt me. I need to pursue my talents on a large stage, and with Spain avoiding the world cup and my teammates going to England this is, as you say, the only game in town.”

 

While Cartaya’s off-key change of tune is in keeping with his superior attitude it has been described by Ministry officials as a “coup”, because Cartaya’s enlistment ensures that the full roster of every major European squad will be on board.

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mlb:

Not totally sure, but he MIGHT need some new lumber for next game.

Inset joke about Twins failure to hit here.
mlb:

Not totally sure, but he MIGHT need some new lumber for next game.

Inset joke about Twins failure to hit here.
mlb:

Not totally sure, but he MIGHT need some new lumber for next game.

Inset joke about Twins failure to hit here.

mlb:

Not totally sure, but he MIGHT need some new lumber for next game.

Inset joke about Twins failure to hit here.

mlboffseason:

This is Greg Maddux’s avatar
This is Greg Maddux’s twitter: @gregmaddux
That is all.

His dog also has an instagram (@littlefellabaxter)
Basically Greg Maddux is a middle aged dad masquerading as a hall of fame pitcher. Which is to say, he’s the greatest hall of famer EVER
mlboffseason:

This is Greg Maddux’s avatar
This is Greg Maddux’s twitter: @gregmaddux
That is all.

His dog also has an instagram (@littlefellabaxter)
Basically Greg Maddux is a middle aged dad masquerading as a hall of fame pitcher. Which is to say, he’s the greatest hall of famer EVER
mlboffseason:

This is Greg Maddux’s avatar
This is Greg Maddux’s twitter: @gregmaddux
That is all.

His dog also has an instagram (@littlefellabaxter)
Basically Greg Maddux is a middle aged dad masquerading as a hall of fame pitcher. Which is to say, he’s the greatest hall of famer EVER

mlboffseason:

This is Greg Maddux’s avatar

This is Greg Maddux’s twitter: @gregmaddux

That is all.

His dog also has an instagram (@littlefellabaxter)

Basically Greg Maddux is a middle aged dad masquerading as a hall of fame pitcher. Which is to say, he’s the greatest hall of famer EVER

Back Where it All Began

Stars From Around the World Descend on Queerditch Marsh

Remember, if you want the ultimate Fantasy sports experience (where the teams, rosters and game itself are all fantasy) send an e-mail to us at mackenzielbs@gmail.com by this Thursday July 31st. HURRY!

Adrian Pucey

Daily Prophet

The remote bog where quidditch began will host the trials for next year’s Quidditch Premier League, next Saturday.

 

“All those approved to and interested in playing must make themselves visible at the marsh by 8 AM exactly,” announced Department for International Magical Cooperation (DIMC) Percy Weasley.  “Please have two forms of identification and either your Ministry Approval Letter or Certificate of Education Completion readily available to avoid delays.”

 

The challenge of organizing several hundreds of auditioning talents has been, perhaps, the most challenging task for the fledgling league to date. The ministry’s attempt to streamline events into a single day has been met with criticism by some athletes.

 

“It is an arduous journey,” noted Indian seeker Amitabh Ganguly, “to make it there, fly my best and be home in time for the evening puja is impractical.”

 

“How am I supposed to show my skill against a hundred chasers in such a short time?” complained Scottish chaser Angus Campbell, “I’ve got to prove the arm I injured fighting off snatchers is 100% and I’ve only got 30 minutes to do it? The ministry’s mucking it up as usual.”

 

For his part, Weasley minimized such complaints:

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hollynorthwind:

Original animation by one of Walt’s Nine Old Men, Frank Thomas.

Kind of amazing, he’s an old man animator who then got younger, became African American, and hit 521 home runs over an 18 year career. All of Tumblr salutes the incredible career of the only person in history ever named Frank Thomas
hollynorthwind:

Original animation by one of Walt’s Nine Old Men, Frank Thomas.

Kind of amazing, he’s an old man animator who then got younger, became African American, and hit 521 home runs over an 18 year career. All of Tumblr salutes the incredible career of the only person in history ever named Frank Thomas
hollynorthwind:

Original animation by one of Walt’s Nine Old Men, Frank Thomas.

Kind of amazing, he’s an old man animator who then got younger, became African American, and hit 521 home runs over an 18 year career. All of Tumblr salutes the incredible career of the only person in history ever named Frank Thomas

hollynorthwind:

Original animation by one of Walt’s Nine Old Men, Frank Thomas.

Kind of amazing, he’s an old man animator who then got younger, became African American, and hit 521 home runs over an 18 year career. All of Tumblr salutes the incredible career of the only person in history ever named Frank Thomas

Quidditch Draft Announced

Each Team’s Roster to be Reshuffled

Everyone to Try-Out “As Equals” Says Broadmoor

This “breaking” news bulletin sent shockwaves through the quidditch fandom of England when released. Now even muggles can appreciate it (send your feedback to mackenzielbs@gmail.com)

Adrian Pucey

Daily Prophet

 

Ever since Viktor Krum stood in front of the media horde to announce he was bringing his talents to the Gringott’s Premier League, there has been a boundless excitement for the possible pairings of world class talents, and a palpable fear of what will happen to those who do not sign any world class talents.

 

In an official announcement yesterday, the Department for Magical Games and Sports, headed by Karl Broadmoor, declared that, in an effort to level the playing the field, all players will be assigned to teams through a draft system.

 

“It’s obvious,” said Broadmoor in a discussion with reporters yesterday, “we can’t have players dictating terms to management. We can’t have management cutting backroom deals with certain players. We can’t let long-standing teams untouched by recent violence keep operating as normal while others have to completly retool. So, for one season, and one season only, all players will be eligible for a draft.”

Read More

I really hope Glavine goes in with a Rally Cap on his plaque
I really hope Glavine goes in with a Rally Cap on his plaque
I really hope Glavine goes in with a Rally Cap on his plaque

I really hope Glavine goes in with a Rally Cap on his plaque

Tony LaRussa was elected easily by the Veterans committee…though to be fair, he did pioneer the campaign tactic of following every voter around with adorable animals.
Adorable and diabolical…much like his use of relief pitchers
Tony LaRussa was elected easily by the Veterans committee…though to be fair, he did pioneer the campaign tactic of following every voter around with adorable animals.
Adorable and diabolical…much like his use of relief pitchers
Tony LaRussa was elected easily by the Veterans committee…though to be fair, he did pioneer the campaign tactic of following every voter around with adorable animals.
Adorable and diabolical…much like his use of relief pitchers

Tony LaRussa was elected easily by the Veterans committee…though to be fair, he did pioneer the campaign tactic of following every voter around with adorable animals.

Adorable and diabolical…much like his use of relief pitchers

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